Learn to be happier by saying no

Introduccion

Are you also someone who can’t say NO, or do you find it very, very difficult? And then you get annoyed about it, along the lines of: Now I’ve said yes again, even though I didn’t want to?

Then read on, I’ll tell you a few simple and effective tricks on how to say no more easily, the main reasons why you can’t say NO and what it has to do with your self-confidence AND …. how it will make you happier

Studies have found that people with low self-esteem are particularly reluctant to say NO.
They crave recognition and affection. They believe that saying yes will make them feel more loved and appreciated. Unfortunately, the exact opposite is the case.

What happens? First of all, there is an inner conflict with yourself. You are annoyed that you said YES instead of NO. And this ties up energy unnecessarily.

Do you have a boss or colleague who offloads their work onto you? Or maybe you always take your vacation first and then you MAY go on vacation before or after, if at all? Or your other half takes ZERO care of the household, even though you both work or one of you is there for the children and therefore already has enough to do?

Ask yourself why you can’t or don’t want to say NO?

• Do you think this will give you more recognition, love and affection?
• Are you afraid of missing out on something, such as a party or another event? And do you think that you will be permanently excluded from a circle of colleagues, friends or family because you weren’t there?
• Or in private. Then I finally have peace and quiet because my child stops whining when he finally gets what he wants.
• Do you feel important, flattered, when someone asks you for a favor.
• Or are you afraid of being fired by your boss at work or being passed over for the next promotion?
• Are you plagued by feelings of guilt?

Get a feel for yourself and find out what drives you to want to please others.

What lack do you feel inside you? Get to the bottom of it so that it can dissolve.

Of course it’s OK if we help and support. If there is a balance. A give and take. That’s human and makes us likeable. So, if you can say YES from the bottom of your heart, then go ahead. Because then you are in harmony with yourself.

What are the advantages of saying NO?

1. It’s liberating to say no. You stand up for yourself. And remember: your time is just as valuable as that of others.
2. As mentioned above, it releases bound energy. You can do other things during this time, things that excite you and are fun
3. You reduce your stress. You bring more calm into your life and therefore more serenity and harmony. Even at home with your children or partner.
4. In the long run, you will be less likely to be taken by surprise. For someone who has difficulty saying no, there is a constant subliminal fear that I will be given another special task that I don’t want
5. Others will take you more seriously in the long run.
6. And this will also ease your relationship with other people. Those around you will realize that you are no longer the person they can dump everything on.
7. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: You stand by YOURSELF! You are in harmony with yourself And that, my dears, strengthens your self-confidence enormously

So how can I learn to say NO? I have a few tips for this:

1. Give yourself time

That way you won’t be taken by surprise again! So if someone asks you for a favor, say calmly: “I’ll have to check my schedule first. I can’t estimate it at the moment. I’ll get back to you and let you know if it works out.”

2. Be clear and don’t apologize:

Imagine someone is constantly borrowing money from you and it goes against the grain because you always have to run after them until you get it back. Or there are the kind of friends who are constantly late and you have to wait for them all the time. Whether it’s in the car when you pick them up or you’re sitting alone at the agreed place and have to kill time. And you’re annoyed that you could have done other things in that time.
If you don’t want to or can’t, then say so very clearly. That’s your right. Not: “Uh, yes, it doesn’t suit me so well today, um, because…. ” NO! Say very clearly: You, sorry! I won’t lend you any more money because then I’ll have to run after you until I get it back. Or: I can’t meet you or pick you up today. I have to pick up the kids from school and therefore don’t have time today.” If you like, you can mention that you’ll be available another time (when you pick them up :).

3. Remain steadfast

There are colleagues, relatives and friends who are really stubborn! Yes, why not? Oh come on, it doesn’t take that long. And they just won’t give up. Then stay cool and don’t start arguing and giving long reasons. That strengthens your position and will earn you the respect of others in the long run.

4. Offer possible alternatives

“You, xy, live in your area too, maybe she can give you a lift.” “Maybe ask your colleague Maier, he knows his way around too.” Etc.

5. Finally, I still have “The crack in the record” on offer

In particularly stubborn cases, the crack in the record proves its worth. Do you still know the old vinyl records? Maybe not the ones born later than 1986.
If these records had a crack, then this one spot would repeat itself the whole time. And that’s exactly what you do with the so-called hardship cases.

Let’s assume, classically, that your child wants to stay out late. Your son wants to go out until three, but you want him to be home by one.

Then don’t enter into the discussion, but make yourself understood. E.g.
If your child says: “The others are all allowed much longer than me.” You reply: “I understand that others are allowed longer, you’re home at one.”

Take over what the other person says and always add it to your prepared sentence
“But the older sister is allowed home until 3 o’clock.” “I understand that you think that’s unfair, you’re home at one”

After the third or fourth time at the latest, it’s over. And the advantage is that you don’t waste energy and get involved in endless discussions.

My dears, that’s it…
If you like, practise saying no at home, in front of the mirror, with people who want to support you.
It’s really worth it. You’re guaranteed to be happier in the long run!